Lost Light
by Yuri no Kimi
Summary: He was the Flame Alchemist afterall. He was useless when it rains. Useless when everything matters. A retelling of ch 101- Royai.


**Disclaimer: **I don't own anything. Anything you recognise, dialogue, events etc, belong to its rightful owner- Hiromu Arakawa.

Please read and review~ :]

* * *

"I refuse! I won't meddle with human transmutation! I'm not opening your damn portal!"

He glares at the still-smiling doctor. There was no way he was attempting THAT. He knows enough not to meddle with something beyond his ability. He cannot afford to lose an arm or anything that would hinder his goal to fix this forsaken country. He was so determined, that he missed the glint behind the doctor's square glasses.

"I've already told you..." The doctor whispered, raspy voice that shook with insanity,

"..we're running out of time"

Roy's mind whirred, not understand the meaning of these words. The doctor was glancing at his subordinate, who had a long, glinting sword held against her neck. The glinting sword mocked him, reminded him that it had total control over her. And he felt dread fill his stomach.

It cannot be..they're not going to...not his..

_**SLICE**_

Blood splurted out of her like a crimson coloured rain. He struggled and writhed against his captors, but they wouldn't budge. He couldn't take his eyes off the dripping red liquid that was her precious life. He couldn't- though he wished so hard- stop the blood from flowing out.

**_He was the Flame Alchemist afterall, he was useless during rain. Useless when everything matters._**

Roy felt his heart tightened, choking him, as he watched her bleed. His mind was filled with images-

**_of bodies littered, blood flowing on the poisonous sand.._**

**_cries of pain as red bursts in front of his eyes, and more bodies falling down like broken toys..._**

**_of Hughes' body, crumpled lifelessly, a pool of blood that kept running...that would NOT stop.._**

* * *

_The sun burned against his skin. It was such an irony that the day was so bright when it should be crying. Afterall, she was crying- quietly, but crying nonetheless- in front of her father's grave. It was such a harsh world. Parents were taken away from their children, leaving them helpless and alone in this lonely world. It happened to him, and now it happened to her._

_Suddenly she stood, and all traces of tears were gone, as if they were wiped by the wind. She stood with her back proud and straight, and he couldn't help but think that she shouldn't have to grow up so fast._

_They talked, him trying to offer comfort and help, one way or another. It was saddening how flat her voice sounded. How she no longer wore that beautiful smile of hers._

_"My father didn't take his secrets to the grave." Roy perked up, as she mentioned her father's precious research._

_"He told me that he had them in a code that's indechiperable to an average alchemist"_

_He rose his eyebrow in question, and asked whether it was written down in a specific kind of code. He was very puzzled when she shook her head._

_"No, he didn't write it down. Not on paper anyway"_

_Confusion filled his face. If his master didn't write it down, then it what way did he hide his work?_

_And then, she bowed her head, and something peeked out from her black, collared jacket. He didn't know what it was at first. Something black, like ink, standing out against her pale skin._

_Then it clicked._

_That was how his master had hidden the secret. He did not write in paper, rather he engraved it on his daughter's skin._

_Shock was still written on his face as she whispered,_

_"So, should I trust you with my father's dream?"_

* * *

"LIEUTENANT!" He yelled, voice cracking with anger and fear. Antagonizing, heart-wrenching fear.

She was lying on the ground, red, _red_ blood pooling around her limp body. She laid in an awkward angle, legs folded painfully under her weight.

Like a broken doll.

"Answer me Lieutenant!" He ordered, _pleaded _for her to answer.

Roy struggled helplessly against the strong grip of the two...monsters. For truly, these aren't men, they aren't _human_ any longer. They were tugging his hand-twisting it- but he couldn't register the pain among the red haze that had clouded his brain. The doctor was taunting him, using her to taunt him.

How dare he, that insane bastard.

How dare he use _her _against him.

And somewhere among the red haze, he heard her soft voice. It shook with agony, very soft like a dying wind.

"I won't die.." Even softly, her words sounded strong. It held her pride, her determination.

"I've been given orders not to die.."

The doctor only laughed, mocking him, mocking her further. He pulled a vial out of his jacket, and instantly Roy recognised the red, thick liquid.

It was the Philosopher Stone.

"Oh? She stopped moving. Dead already?"

Roy's body shook and trembled with anger. He gritted his teeth, and his eyes tightened in pure hatred.

"Colonel..don't attempt human transmutation..it's not..worth it" She said between short, gasping breaths.

Roy's fist clenched so tight, he feared it would rip his gloves. He knew it was not worth it, he knew it was wrong. But what could he do? He couldn't just abandon her. Leave her bleeding on the ground like a fallen chess piece. She was more than his lieutenant, more than his subordinate. She was more than a childhood friend, more than a comrade in a terrible war. She was everything.

But her amber eyes were so determined. It tore through his soul, silently saying that she'll kill him if he attempts something so ridiculous. She was always strong, stronger than him. Even with her dying breath she fought to protect him.

His lovely, broken queen.

* * *

_It was a dreadful time. Everything around him was in ruins. Wood, metal, bodies, blood littered on the bitter sand._

_They had won but he felt wrong, he did not feel as if he had won. Afterall, he was not fighting for honour. Everything was just a mass __**murder**__._

_Through all the mess he saw her small form. Crouched on the ground in front of a small lump of dirt. He walked closer, asking why she was still there when everyone were preparing to leave. As he stopped behind her, casting a shadow on the white sand, he realised what she was doing. She was making a grave._

_"Is that for a fallen comrade?" He asked curiously._

_"No sir" she had answered, "It's for an Ishbalan child."_

_He sighed heavily, screams and cries of agony still playing in his head. He would never truly forget the horrors of this pointless war. Murders, he had committed with his own hands._

_"I have a favour to ask you Mr. Mustang"_

_He stared at the back of her head, eyebrow raised in question though she couldn't see._

_"My back..I want you to burn it beyond recognition"_

_"What!" He yelled in shock. There was no way he could ever do that to her. To stain her pale skin with droplets of blood and ugly scars of burnt flesh. He knew what it would look like. He had seen it on many bodies he had burned with his cursed hands._

_"If I can't repent, the least I could do is prevent the creation of another flame alchemist!"_

_So that's what it was. She had regretted telling him the secret. Regretted trusting her father's dream to a man who had crushed it under his feet. He was a disappointment, a mistake._

_"I want the secret that's on my back to become illegible..I'm begging you"_

_She had turned slightly, amber orbs piercing into him. Those orbs held grief, anger and determination. As he stared at her kneeling in front of a grave of a child- with her white coat flowing down her back and onto the soiled sand- he thought that she looked like an angel. A kind, fierce angel with a strong heart and incredible will. He could not tear himself away from this image. He could not refuse and disappoint those begging eyes. With a deep, defeated sigh, he took out his gloves from his pocket._

_"How ironic," his voice sounded hollow to his own ears, "..this war has made me much too accustomed to burning people."_

_Later on, raging, biting flame burned through her snow, white skin. And though everything was quiet, a terrible, terrible scream echoed in his head..._

* * *

_He had been building his team, picking the best and those he can trust. He was surprised that she had came too, offering to be his subordinate despite everything. Despite the pain and suffering he had caused her._

_"We soldiers should be the only ones with blood on our hands" she had said, "..for future generations to be happy, we must carry corpses on our back across a river of blood."_

_He had then trusted her with his back. Trusted her to keep him in the right path, to stop him from repeating his mistakes. And in return, he had promised to protect her, to protect all of them..._

* * *

It was all his fault. He had sworn to protect her, and yet she laid dying. Dying because of him. Something pricked the corner of his eyes, but he refused to let his tears flow. He could not show weakness. Not when he had yelled at her for crying when she thought he was dead. Not when she was being so, so strong.

His fierce, loyal queen.

He stared into her eyes once again, begging her to tell him what to do. For a king was useless without his queen, he was useless without her. Though how could she answer? For she was before death's door.

But then, slowly, her amber eyes shifted, glancing up, though still maintaining his gaze. Could it be?

Then he understood.

Of course. She was his strong queen afterall, his lovely angel who would guide him to the right path. She would never let him make a such ridiculous mistake.

And so he gritten his teeth angrily and forced out,

"All right. "

"Ah! Then you'll do it?!" The doctor grinned widely, thinking that Roy had accepted his stupid offer.

"All right lieutenant, " He forced out, still locking his eyes with hers,

"I won't do human transmutation."


End file.
